Grief, Dying and Respectful End-of-Life Care

Understanding Grief and Providing Emotional Support

Grief is an individual emotional response to loss that varies from person to person. Because each person is unique, no two residents will experience or express their grief in the exact same manner. One model of grief describes denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance; however, not everyone experiences these stages. Furthermore, individuals do not always experience the stages of grief in a specific or predictable order. A resident may move back and forth between different stages of grief over time, feeling accepting one day and experiencing intense anger or sadness the next.

As a nurse aide, your role is to provide compassionate, nonjudgmental presence. Nurse aides should actively listen without judgment when a grieving resident wishes to talk. It is never helpful to try to cheer someone up by dismissing their pain. Nurse aides must avoid using clichés such as 'they are in a better place' or 'everything happens for a reason.' Instead, simply being present and listening allows the resident to express their true emotions in a safe space.

During this vulnerable time, residents may sometimes direct strong feelings toward their caregivers. A nurse aide should accept a resident's expressions of anger or sadness without taking them personally. A resident's anger may reflect grief or a specific concern; listen without taking it personally, and report complaints or concerns to the nurse. Additionally, nurse aides should respect each resident's cultural and spiritual customs related to dying and grief, honoring their individual traditions and beliefs.

Caring for residents who are dying also affects the healthcare team. Nurse aides may experience grief after a resident dies and should seek support from supervisors or peer resources to process their own feelings in a healthy, supported way.